I have always thought mothers are unique and can do magic but I had never known how they get things done until someone asked me that question. He told me that I am a fabulous mom. He also asked me, ‘How do you get all these things done?’ He even mentioned a number of things that I had accomplished and I was also astonished. I didn’t know I was doing so many things and somehow completed quite a number of them. That was a few months ago and I immediately forgot the question I was asked until recently.
So, I remembered that question a few days and started taking a deeper look at a mother’s way of life starting with those in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and so on. I was just curious about what makes up a real fabulous mom. In addition, I wanted to know whether there are moms who are not fabulous. First of all, let’s define this term, FABULOUS. According to the dictionary, the word fabulous means, something so great that you can hardly believe it. This got me thinking hard. Am I a fabulous mom? Do I consider myself as fabulous? Is my own mom fabulous? How about other moms? What makes them so great? Why would a mom not be fabulous? How can she change and become fabulous? So many questions ran through my mind.
Truth is that moms are ‘special’ especially in the eyes of their children. A child will always look up to the mom for answers to any question including how far the moon is from the earth. I mean, all sorts of questions. I’ve heard that most men love and adore their moms and in-fact they believe that their moms are extremely fabulous. Some guys say that they can even divorce their wives if the wife messes up with their moms. Am I correct guys? Is it a majority of guys that agree with me? Moms have a special place in our hearts. We cherish them and can do anything for them because they have been through thick and thin taking care of us. I am a mom of two pretty girls. I realized that I’m always checking on them even the grown-up one. I sometimes ask them whether they need to put on a sweater because it is cold, forgetting that they know when to put on a sweater. I’ve done this since they were little and it seems I cannot stop. They understand me though.
Mothers have so much fabulosity to celebrate but they do not seem to realize that. I guess they have been running up and down taking care of their families that they forget to stop and reflect back to appreciate themselves for the many daily achievements. They are always pointing at what they didn’t complete even when they got 90% done. This sometimes pushes their self-esteem down. There are many reasons as to why mothers need to start celebrating their own fabulosity. In addition, moms need to slow down and avoid burnout. It is ok to leave a few things to be done later.
I recently spoke to a 20 something mom and she was so energetic narrating how she takes care of her child. She is employed but she has other talents that she felt that it would be better if the talent was monetized. In addition, she missed a promotion in her current job when she took maternity leave, and now she has been taking a few off days for the baby’s clinic days. She has had to stick to her current job, which she does not enjoy, just because it pays the bills. She went ahead to mention that her employer is aware of her other talent which is in events planning. The employer always calls on her to plan the company events. As an employee, she works even outside office hours to ensure the events are well planned. So, should she charge her employer for this extra service? I hear a loud NO because she is an employee and her contract has the famous statement, ‘Any other duties’. This statement means that her employer can give her other additional work for no extra pay.
Moms have so many other roles that they deal with especially where the mother is the family’s breadwinner. The responsibilities include;
Parenting: this is the core work for any mom who is the family’s breadwinner. She has to handle parental duties that include food, shelter, education for the children, management of the home, etc. The children and spouse look up to her for all answers. I am sure you have seen children always sent to their mom for answers when they ask questions. Mom will always have an answer. One dilemma I find here is the parenting of boys by single parents and also mothers of boys where the father is absent. These moms are crying for help. This is an area that needs deep support from relatives or mentors of boys.
Income: as you walk along Nairobi streets and also as you visit the market places, moms are the majority traders. This shows how moms have taken their role seriously in providing for the family. The same applies to the middle class. There is a trend of moms taking the roles that men used to handle before. In fact, I understand that young men are now becoming househusbands. This is now a common trend. This means that the young moms are out there working and the man is jobless. I’m not sure what they do on a daily basis.
Financial Management: I have come across guys who praise their wives as great financial managers. In fact, one of them said that his salary and the wives are combined in one bank account. The wife prepares the family budget for the year and keeps track of the spending periodically. This guy seemed to be living a truly happy life. Perhaps there is something to learn from him. Is it true that moms are better financial managers than dads?
Well, the above are just a few observations that I’ve made over a short period of time and could be other examples. However, based on the above, I wish to say that moms are truly fabulous and perhaps need to be given more leeway to exploit their potential and explore new avenues of making better lifestyles irrespective of whether they are employed. The employer can consider giving her a token of appreciation for the extra skills used to make the employers’ environment a much better and comfortable place for all employees. Let her express her fabulosity and reward it. In addition, husbands should support the wives’ ingenuity for the betterment of the family.
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